I remember the words that were spoken over me, “I love you”. They must have been spoken over me a hundred times that evening 10 years ago while laying prostrate on the floor in a conference room in NY.
The healing waters of the Holy Spirit gushed into that room. Honestly, it felt like everything within me was being ripped out. At the same time I felt hot fire of the Heavenly Fathers love permeate my body.
The words “I love you” was what I needed to hear ever since I was a little girl. I needed to know my Fathers love.
Oh how I searched for it. Oh how I longed to know so much about him. I felt his love that evening. He was actually doing surgery upon my heart. He was taking what was broken and shattered and bringing healing to me. It was painful, I will not deny it, but he was replacing it with his love. Mending me together. His love was what I needed. Those words went through me. They pierced through me. It had to be done. It had to be done so that I could know freedom.
This young man continuously repeated these words over and over again. I honestly can say I think I had created my own pond on the floor in that room. I walked out of that conference that day so sure of the Fathers love for me. I am not saying that was the end of the tears because it wasn’t. God continued to pour out more of his love on me. He had to take me through a healing.
I needed to pour out my tears to him. The pain of my past I had to let go. The fears, shame and regret. For months maybe even a year after that night I would get on the floor often and continue to cry out for healing. God did it! God took away that pain and that shame! I had to learn how to forgive those that hurt me. I had to learn how to love the unlovable.
I was misjudged by family, misjudged by friends. I had lost a lot. The church couldn’t even accept me. I was prayed against, lied about, betrayed. Maybe some of you can even relate. I was abused emotional, physically and mentally. Not only by those whom I loved, but by those whom I thought I could trust. Even those within the fours walls of a church.
I came to realize that I had to put my trust in Jesus. Thank God for that night because I would not have made it this far. I was ready to give up and I lost hope. Jesus came that night and created something new within me. A new perseverance to not give up. He strengthened me, he loved me.
God is your answer, God is your hope. God is whom you can always trust.
He makes the grey skies blue. He turns all situations around in our favor. He is always working, always leading and always guiding. Most importantly he is always loving. He never gives up on us. He never fails us.
All things work together for good for them who love him and those that are called according to his purpose in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:28